Metal Death Accelerators
by Faye M.A
Summary: ...On ice. Hiccup, Astrid, and company discover a new way to pass the time during the winter freeze. Oneshot.


_This is a fun little piece that my friend Curly Q's and I wrote this morning. Strictly for grins and giggles. :-) We do a lot of writing together, so if you like what you see in this oneshot, be sure to check out her page too! Enjoy!  
_

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The frost had come early that year, paralyzing the island in an uncharacteristically harsh grip. Villagers' homes could all be seen with tendrils of smoke curling out of the chimneys; meals were served exclusively in the great hall, where meat could be roasted upon a communal spit. Villagers pressed together in the hopes that shared merriment and meals could warm the icy depths of winter. Even Mildew seemed to enjoy the increased company of his fellow Vikings, though Fungus, his sheep, didn't much care for it.

It had been Hiccup's idea to use the dragons to increase efficiency of mass meal preparation; Barf and Belch, the Zippleback, had proven especially useful—Zippleback-roasted chicken had become a crowd favorite in Berk, though it gave a certain odd crunch to the skin that some people couldn't quite get past.

After a particularly fiery close call, Snotlout caught a chicken midair, slamming it down onto an iron serving platter, loudly proclaiming, "Alright ladies! Tonight's dinner is hot, smoking, and flaming—just like Yours Truly!"

"Flaming?" Tuffnut said with a mischievous grin.

"You know what _that_ means!" Ruffnut added, bumping him in the shoulder.

"Actually, no, I don't think he does," Fishlegs noted. "Colloquialisms, such as 'flaming,' aren't really—"

"Enough," Astrid said. "Just shut up and eat your chicken."

With an icy gust of wind, the door burst open and a large, black dragon bounded in, accompanied by a skinny, nondescript boy. Halfway to the table, he tripped, stumbling a few times and then regaining his footing long enough to mutter a casual greeting to his friends before slipping again, this time ending up on the floor. "Ugh," he mumbled. "Nobody should have to go from being four-foot-eleven to being five-foot-four in three weeks."

"Growth spurt giving you trouble?" Astrid asked, offering him her hand.

"Yes," he groaned. "You have no idea. Every time I finish a new leg or saddle, I'm always right back in the forge, making it bigger. Gobber's even starting to get frustrated with me for using up all his metal, and I never have time for anything else—least of all flying Toothless."

At the mention of his name, the dragon laid his head in his rider's lap, eyes large, imploring him for the chicken leg on his plate. Finally, Hiccup rolled his eyes. "Alright, Bud. You can have it. Odin knows I don't need to get any bigger." With a delighted purr, Toothless snatched the chicken leg and pranced off to a corner to eat it. Hiccup sighed. He hadn't noticed that Astrid's eyes had been trained on him since he had walked into the great hall, and they were very much appreciating the added height and new weight distribution. "Maybe if I just starve myself—" he grumbled.

"No!" Astrid said, punching him in the arm. Everyone stared at her. "I mean, that's just stupid. Besides," she said, "I don't know why you're complaining about not flying much; you know it would be suicide with all these ice storms rolling through."

Snotlout perked up. "Suicide? I'll show those storms suicide. I bet you that me and Hookfang could fly all the way around the island in a storm and still make it back for dinner."

Hiccup shook his head. "Not helping."

Fishlegs walked over, patting Hiccup's shoulder. "I know what you mean. Meatlug's been getting pretty bored too. I mean, you can only play so many games of Toss the Sheep . . ."

"Bored?" Tuffnut interrupted, mouth full of chicken. "I don't know how you could be bored with Ruff around. Her face makes me laugh every time." He turned to her with a bemused smile. "Ha ha!"

"We're twins, idiot," Ruffnut snarled. "We have the same face."

"Nuh-uh; mine's way prettier than yours."

Hiccup sighed, ignoring their squabbling. "I feel like I'm going crazy in that forge with nothing to do but pound on metal all day."

"What's wrong with pounding on stuff?" Snotlout asked. "I could pound on your face it you'd like."

"Um, no thanks." Hiccup shrugged.

"You know, there's more to life than pounding on stuff, right?" Astrid questioned, folding her arms.

"Well, you know what, ax-girl? I'm gonna—"

"Okay." Hiccup rose to move around the table and get between the bickering pair. "It's clear that we're all going a little stir-crazy from being around each other too much. And we—"

At that precise moment, his metal leg slipped out from under him, sending him to the ground again. He caught himself on the table, swearing under his breath. "What is _with_ you today?" Astrid asked. "You're slipping way more than usual."

"It's this ice." He pulled himself upright, careful to stand on a solid patch. Frustrated, he kicked the slippery portion that had tripped him, sending it skittering across the room. "I keep sliding on it with my metal foot. I just wish there was some way for me to control that. You know—to be able to move around, and—" Astrid watched as his eyes went blank and his sentence trailed into oblivion. "I'll be right back," he muttered, setting down his mug, turning on heel, and running out the door. On the way out, he grabbed two knives from Bucket's and Mulch's empty plates.

Hiccup didn't come right back.

In fact, no one could find him until the next morning. The dragon riders arrived at the Academy in time for training, only to find no sign of their teacher. Also, the large stone floor had completely frozen over.

"Oh well! Training's cancelled," Snotlout said. "Come on, Hookfang."

"Well, maybe we should wait for Hiccup," Fishlegs began.

Almost at the mention of his name, Hiccup burst through the door. "Wait! Don't leave! Training's still on!"

"In case you haven't noticed, the arena's frozen solid," Snotlout pointed out. "What are we going to learn on a sheet of ice?"

"Balance." Hiccup smiled and tossed a new contraption to Snotlout. "Careful of the sharp end."

Astrid looked at him, noting his red eyes and disheveled hair. "Did you pull an all-nighter?"

"Yes. Not the point." He grabbed another pair and handed it to her. "Strap these to your boots."

"You're crazy."

"A little," he acknowledged with a shrug and a smile.

"Um, Hiccup?" Fishlegs said, wobbling dangerously on the thin blades. I ride a Gronckle. What does balance have to do with that?"

"Everything," Hiccup replied with a grin. "Now, just like Gobber used to tell us, we're going to be learning on the job!" With that, he gave Fishlegs a good shove, sending him sliding out into the middle of the arena, where he landed with an unceremonious _thud_ on his backside. "Woah," Hiccup muttered. "I can't believe they actually work."

"Cool!" Ruff said, punching Tuff in her enthusiasm. "Whatdaya call 'em?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Tuff answered. "Metal Death Accelerators. On ice." He and Ruff smiled and banged their helmets together.

Hiccup stared at them. "I was actually just thinking 'ice gliders.'"

Ruff scoffed. "That's boring. What about Bladed Frozen Terrors?"

"Uh, how about we just work on using them?" Hiccup tried, strapping a blade onto his good foot.

"Hey, look at me!" Snotlout cried. "I'm doing it! My balance is pretty awesome, right?" Hookfang clawed past Hiccup, Snotlout holding onto his tail. "I _so_ own this!" Hiccup rolled his eyes. Hookfang looked behind him and, frustrated at having to tow his rider, burst briefly into flames; Snotlout screamed and slid across the arena. "I'm okay!" he called. Unable to stop, he then collided painfully with a wall. "Less okay."

Astrid had moved approximately three feet from her starting position, arms held wide, gingerly stepping one foot in front of the other. "This isn't so bad," she said.

With a smile, Hiccup swooped in front of her, grabbing her hands. "You're never gonna get anywhere like that. You've got to let yourself _slide_."

"That is the _last_ thing I'm willing to do," she snapped; even though he pulled, she resisted, digging her toes into the ice.

Hiccup sighed. "Astrid." She looked at him. "Trust me," he said.

She took a deep breath and let him pull her. He seemed to be having an easier time, even going backward, so she watched his feet. He noticed her looking and tried very hard not to blush at her undivided attention. "See?" he said. "It's easy."

Trying to imitate him, she stroked one foot, then the other. In the corner, she lost her balance, pitching forward; Hiccup caught her only seconds before she brought both of them crashing to the ice. "Are you alright?" he asked. She nodded, and he realized, as the adrenaline ebbed, that he had a stronger grip on her hands than before. Panicking, he let go.

"Wait, no!" Astrid clambered for his hands again. "I'm not ready for that!"

"O-okay." He took her hands again, this time more gently, and resumed guiding her around the arena.

"Hey, watch this! I totally can't stop!" Snotlout came careening behind them, grabbing Hiccup hard on the shoulder in an attempt to brake. He slowed down, of course, but he also managed to push Hiccup forward, knocking Astrid to the ice. She didn't let go of his hands, only holding him tighter, and pulled him down after her. In the last second, he yanked his hands out of hers, planting them on the ice on either side of her, catching himself.

"That was—" he began.

"Close?" Astrid couldn't help but feel that 'close' was the perfect adjective; he hovered so near to her that she could count every freckle on his face. She felt herself breathe a little harder.

He cleared his throat. "Well—um—sorry about that," he said, picking himself up off of her carefully and getting back to his feet He extended an apologetic hand, which she took gratefully, pulling herself up.

"Um—thanks." She looked at her boots, tucking her bangs behind her ear. They fell right back in front of her eyes again.

"Yep." He wasn't looking at her either, instead tracing nonsense patterns into the ice with his metal foot.

"Hey, it hurts when you fall!" Ruff yelled, hitting the ice hard.

"It does?" Tuff said, skating up beside her.

"Yeah! Just like this—" Ruff kicked his legs out from under him, and he fell, sprawled out on his back.

Tuff laughed. "Yeah, it does hurt! But not as much as this—" and he punched his sister in the face.

"Ow, stop! Wait, no. Do it again . . ."

Hiccup laughed and rolled his eyes. Astrid shrugged. "At least they're entertained," she said. Then, she tried to skate away, very carefully.

"Hey, are you good?" Hiccup called after her.

She smiled over her shoulder. "Yeah; just don't go too far."


End file.
